‘Twas The Night Before Christmas – Funny Freelance Writer Version
Each Christmas, we try to hold a fun Christmas event that includes participation from writers, editors and management. Since we are a content creation company, being creative comes second nature to most of the amazing people that work with us. Adding that creativity to holiday themes has been one of our favorite company culture traditions.
Christmas Poem Writing Remix
For a few holiday writer/editor contests, we’ve asked writers to change the words to popular Christmas songs, stories or poems. A few years back, we had our writers/editors change the words to the famous Christmas poem, ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, to better encapsulate what it’s like being a freelance content writer.
The results were hilarious and are still relevant today to freelance writers everywhere! The twist to this contest was that not only did the top 3 entries win cash prizes, but the management here at BKA re-enacted the winning entry in a video!
‘Twas the Night Before Christmas (Normal Version)
Before we get into the absolute comedy genius of the video, let’s cover a few stats/FAQs of the original Christmas poem, ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas”.
Q. Who Wrote ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas?
A. It was Clement Clarke Moore. He was a professor of Theology and Oriental and Greek Literature.
Q. How Many Words are in ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas?
A. There are approximately 500 words. Oh and there were approximately 8 reindeer mentioned. You’re welcome.
Q. What are the Original Lyrics of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas?
A. You can find the original lyrics to this Christmas poem here.
‘Twas the Night Before Christmas (Funny Version)
As amazing as the original version of the Christmas poem is, it’s hard to beat this funny version as it relates to SEO content writing. For the record, Linsi Peck had the winning entry of her version of ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas poem. Enjoy the video everyone and feel free to share it!
by Linsi Peck
‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except for my mouse.
It clicked and it tapped and it zinged a bit, too,
As across the keyboard all my fingertips flew.
I had one more article to work on this night
And then in my bed I’d be snuggled so tight.
I raced with the clock to finish up quick,
So I could be sleeping when came Old Saint Nick.
But my head, how it bobbed, my eyes, how they sagged,
I was droopy and weary and feeling quite lagged.
As I hit one more key, my chin hit my chest,
And my eyes softly closed in a well-deserved rest.
When suddenly, what to my ears should I hear,
But a tapping behind me, that sounded quite near.
I quickly turned ‘round, at my window a man
Was tapping the glass and waving his hand.
“Your windows,” he said, “are letting in cold.
They’re not energy efficient and, really, quite old.
I’ll replace them with new ones made of fiberglass,
I’m the best in the area, the top of my class.”
My brow was now furrowed in honest confusion,
But I couldn’t ponder long on his rude intrusion.
I heard a new sound, a chew and a slurp,
Followed by big lips smacking and then a loud burp.
“Excuse me,” said the eater, a man with no hair,
“That food was so good it came out of nowhere.
You should try this veggie pasta, it’s really nom-nom,
I found this new place on Waiter.com.”
It did smell divine, but I was in shock,
When on my front door, I heard a knock-knock.
“You could use a house-washing,” the caller did yell,
“And your roof needs a thorough rinsing as well.”
I was about to object, but could not even utter,
Before he yelled, “Have you seen what’s in your gutter?
You need to protect your home with a leaf guard,
Contact me today,” and gave me his card.
If this wasn’t enough, I heard a bang in the loo,
Of course, in there, was another man, too.
“A bathroom remodel will give you a thrill,”
He said as he pulled out an electric drill.
Next came a man claiming solar was best,
Then a salesman of doors wouldn’t give it a rest.
I was told how to budget and insure my car,
Then approached by four lawyers from near and far.
It was so loud I almost couldn’t hear the slight sounds
Of bells in the chimney and out on the grounds.
But soon Old Saint Nicholas joined in the crowd,
With a booming big chuckle and a voice very loud.
“And now for your gift,” and his bag he did park,
Then opened it and pulled out some Advocare Spark.
I sat there dumbfounded, as up the chimney he flew
Then fuzzy, waved lines began distorting my view.
I suddenly yelled, “Ouch,” as my face hit the keys,
I rubbed my forehead and the pain there did ease.
I was back in my seat, in front of my screen
And I knew in that moment, it all was a dream.
I sighed with relief and wrote a bit more,
Then sprang to my feet and raced to the door.
But before visions of sugarplums came, I did say,
“I guess that’s what I get, working for BKA.”
by Kasey Crawford
Listen to Kasey perform her entry below!
Last Christmas
I lacked any pay
But the very next day
I found BKA
This year
I’ll research porcelain veneers
To buy myself something special
Last Christmas
I lacked any pay
But the very next day
I found BKA
Now I write about lawns
And candied pecans
To buy myself something special
Strange keyword
But I’ll try
It sounds peculiar
But still it caught my eye
Tell me baby,
What is account financing?
Well,
I’ll look it up
And come up with something
To the submit box yeah I sent it
With a note saying, “Edit this,”
I meant it
Put my titles in
Yeah it takes just a sec
And now I just can’t wait
To get my quality check
Last Christmas
I lacked any pay
But the very next day
I found BKA
This year
I’ll research porcelain veneers
To buy myself something special
Last Christmas
I lacked any pay
But the very next day
I found BKA
Now I write about lawns
And candied pecans
To buy myself something special
Oh, oh baby.
A Facebook group
Full of grammar queens
I finally know
What SEO really means
My word I must buy one before they are all gone
Because I really need a Rody Pony to ride on
A bright happy spreadsheet with a shiny black line
Hit control semicolon for my own due date time ooh- hoo
Now I found a real job you’ll never fool me again
Last Christmas
I lacked any pay
But the very next day
I found BKA
This year
I’ll research porcelain veneers
To buy myself something special
Last Christmas
I lacked any pay
But the very next day
I found BKA
Now I write about lawns
And candied pecans
To buy myself something special
A bright happy spreadsheet with a shiny black line
Hit control semicolon for my own due date time
And next year I’ll write about something
I’ll write about something special
(Super Ultra-Dramatic singular word finale Segment):
Something….
Special…
By Francesca Nishimoto
‘Twas the night before deadlines, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, but my laptop mouse.
The Word doc on the screen was blank, white, and bare
In hopes that an article soon would be there.
I wished to be nestled all snug in my bed,
While visions of big paychecks danced in my head.
With the silence and darkness and cat in my lap,
My brain started settling for a long winter’s nap.
When out of nowhere there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter.
I saw on the laptop screen a bright flash.
Then it went dark, and I knew it had crashed!
With the moon shining bright, but my screen not aglow,
The bad timing could not have been a worse blow.
When what to my wondering mind should appear,
But an idea for my block for LiveCareer!
I jotted down notes so lively and quick,
Before the idea would no longer stick.
More rapid than Mike Bedard’s writing, my words came.
I wanted to share them with each BKA name:
To Matt and to Greg and to Cara and Phil Secrist,
To Melinda and Katie, and on down the staff list
To Shelly and Amber, to Jon and to Drew.
And don’t forget Andra and Claudia, too—
From the company’s top to the BKA ball.
Now type away, type away, type away, all!
So back to the laptop I hopefully flew,
And then in a twinkling, I knew what to do.
Once I rebooted and clicked and fiddled around,
My ears started hearing the most wondrous sound.
The screen came to life! Not a moment to lose.
I grabbed some hot coffee so I wouldn’t snooze.
My eyes, how they twinkled! My dimples, how merry!
I had defeated a writer’s adversary.
Now if only I could finish before time ran out,
Or before my computer had another blackout.
Faster and faster I hit the lit keyboard,
Determined to include every last keyword.
Not even Facebook could stop me on this roll,
Though it took me every ounce of self-control.
At last it was done! Time for the editing stage.
I checked every last detail of the training page.
A glance at the list showed no sentence unread.
I relaxed knowing I had nothing to dread.
I fist pumped the air. I had finished my work!
I emailed it off, and then turned with a jerk.
And kitty, laying a paw on his nose,
Gave me a soft mew before he arose.
I sprang to my bed, with a long sigh like a whistle,
Then shot under the covers faster than a missile.
I exclaimed to my cat as I turned off the light,
“Good luck writing to all, and to all a good night!”
